


without a care, i was out of touch (you stress me out, you kill me)

by angelica_barnes



Category: One Direction (Band), celebrity - Fandom
Genre: Multi, taylor and harry are siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-28 18:53:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14455617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelica_barnes/pseuds/angelica_barnes
Summary: esme listens to her best friend faith spill all these rumors and is shocked to watch them all turn out to be true.zayn and liam fall in love and then over again and she watches while she falls in love herself.





	without a care, i was out of touch (you stress me out, you kill me)

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from "Crazy" by Gnarles Barkley and "Back To You" by Louis Tomlinson

“Did you hear?” Faith whispers. Esme closes her locker and turns towards her best friend with an amused look on her face. 

“Did I hear what?”

They start to walk down the hall and Faith giggles, something she’s always done when she has something good to share. “You know Liam Payne?”

Esme raises her eyebrows and lets a grin show itself. “You mean Goody Two Shoes, Straighter Than A Line, Nerd Extreme Since Third Grade, Liam Payne?”

Faith nods eagerly. “Guess who asked him out?”

Esme huffs out something along the lines of a laugh and shakes her head; “Who?”

Faith beams, as if this is the question she’s been waiting for (it is).

“Zayn Malik.”

Esme suddenly stops, turning to her friend with wide eyes. “Hold on. Bad boy Zayn Malik asked out goody two shoes Liam Payne? Who is straight?”

Faith nods. “And that’s not even the best part.”

Esme can feel the beginnings of a nervous smile on her face. “What?”

Faith’s eyes sparkle with excitement; “Liam said  _ yes _ .”

Now, Faith has gone off the rails before. Once she thought that Niall Horan liked Esme - excuse me, why would her long-term crush and the most popular social butterfly ever like her? - and then she thought that Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson were a gay couple - I’m sorry, they’re both dating other people? Taylor Swift and Eleanor Calder? - but this is just insane.

“Faith, come on. You really expect me to believe -”

She freezes as Zayn and Liam come around the corner, Zayn’s arm wrapped around Liam’s shoulders as he smiles down at the younger boy, who’s going on and on about superheros. They pass Esme and Faith, and Esme stares after them while Faith smirks.

“See?” Faith says, and Esme doesn’t utter another thing.

 

 

-

 

Y’know, Esme still thinks Faith has gone mad. Zayn is a player, and Liam is straight, so this can’t possibly work out. Except, Liam lights up when Zayn walks into a room and it’s been a month and Zayn hasn’t so much as glanced at anyone else.

Like now, and all Esme wants is to make it through the park to her house without catching sight of Niall, because even for a social butterfly he causes too many in her stomach, and she’s shocked to see Zayn approaching Liam at a picnic table and handing him some roses. Liam’s face begins to glow and he wraps an arm around Zayn’s neck, tugging the boy down for a kiss, which Zayn smiles into, setting a hand comfortably on Liam’s hip.

“They’re cute, aren’t they?” A voice rasps, right in her ear, and she jumps slightly in surprise. Then she turns and glares at Niall, because of course she couldn’t go a day without seeing his pretty, sheepish face.

“Niall Horan,” she teases, a smirk beginning to play about her lips. “So lovely to see you, but I’ve gotta run.”

Esme pretends that his eyes on her back don’t send shivers up her spine.

 

 

-

 

To be honest, Esme doesn’t really believe a word that comes out of Faith’s mouth. But this is starting to look suspiciously real, Zayn and Liam’s romance. Five months have gone by, and they look as if this… thing between them isn’t ending anytime soon.

For once, Zayn Malik can be spotted holding someone’s hand in the hall. His smile isn’t a sneer, and his dark eyes are alight with wonder when he looks at Liam. He actually listens to all of Liam’s insanely long monologues about DC Comics and Marvel, and when he’s finally had enough he kisses Liam to shut him up.

It’s ridiculously cute.

Esme wants to throw up.

“Funny, isn’t it?” Taylor muses in science, daydreaming at the ceiling like always, with a pencil pinched between her fingers and a scribbled-on paper sitting beneath her arm so Esme can’t peek at the words. “Zayn and Liam?”

Esme raises her eyebrows and nods. “Didn’t think you knew them.”

Taylor hums, not bothering to look at Esme or shift her gaze to somewhere other than the plaster above their heads. “They’re sweet. Like candy.”

Esme can’t even justify that with a response. So instead she turns to Niall with a blush to ask for a pencil, as she realizes that the one Taylor’s twisting in her fingers is Esme’s.

 

 

-

 

By September, Esme believes it. Zayn and Liam walk into school together, laughing and holding hands as if the hot summer days, long and tiring, have done nothing to separate them.

It seems it hasn’t, because they’re lounging in the hallway behind Miss Schade’s room and Zayn’s got his fingers hooked in Liam’s belt loops while the younger boy smiles up at him in awe. He whispers something, “I love you,” and Zayn grins before leaning down to press his mouth onto Liam’s.

It’s definitely true.

A year’s gone by, and everyone’s going a little mental. Usually, relationships would be old news by now, but they’re all just shocked. Zayn hasn’t cheated on Liam, and Liam Payne is in love with Zayn Malik, and cheerleaders Perrie Edwards and Eleanor Calder were caught making out behind the bleachers.

Louis isn’t heartbroken, and Esme catches Niall staring at her more often than not, and blonde boys really shouldn’t wear black shirts with white polka dots and collars.

 

 

-

 

It’s the first day of school in the new year, and Liam Payne is kissing Zayn Malik by his locker and his shirt is untucked, ridden up his torso as Zayn’s hand travels underneath it. He’s smiling, and he’s beautiful, just like so many girls and boys alike have been tricked into thinking.

Esme still can’t believe it sometimes.

She still has no idea about some things, like why the hell Taylor Swift is called Miss Styles by their teachers and who the fuck Ed Sheeran is, but that’s okay. She’ll figure it out in time, and Harry’s singing about ghosts and mishappenings, sour fruits and he’s dancing down the hall.

Louis Tomlinson doesn’t care that Eleanor’s a lesbian, in fact, he still smiles at her in the hall. And she grins back, and whispers something in his ear, and then Harry walks up to Louis and twirls him around and leaves him with a faint pink tint to his cheeks.

So maybe Faith’s crazy. But then the rest of the world would have to be.

 

 

-

 

The world seems to fall apart in a few short days. Faith is back to being insane, but now it’s the other way around and she’s babbling on about how Liam dumped Zayn over the weekend, and Esme doesn’t believe it because those two are so in love it hurts. And if they did break up, then it would’ve been Zayn dumping Liam.

So of course you can’t imagine her shock, you couldn’t even comprehend it if you tried. Zayn is sitting by himself, black bags under his eyes and all hunched over, staring at his paper as though it might have all the answers in the world. And it clearly doesn’t; it’s blank. Esme has yet to experience all the little things about Taylor Swift, but it starts when she gently takes Zayn’s hand and writes something on the back of it in sharpie.

Esme catches sight of it as she leaves, and it’s shaky handwriting with no capitalization that says, he loves you. And she’s sure it’s still true, but as clear as she sees the sentence, she also sees Zayn trying desperately to wash it off in the bathroom through an open door. His skin is red, rubbed raw, and he’s crying.

Esme doesn’t think she’s ever seen Zayn Malik cry; in reality, she’s probably the first human being in the entire world to see Zayn Malik cry. It’s a sad thought, instead of a victorious one.

A thought that never crosses her mind is that maybe she’s also the first friend to see Liam Payne cry, because he holds it together pretty well until she finds him hiding in Zayn’s old smoke spot. He’s curled in on himself, shaking a tiny bit, and clearly trying to stop it.

And maybe Esme should’ve walked over, now that she’s thinking about it. Maybe she could have saved him, saved Zayn, saved them. Salvaged what was left of them and pieced it back together, but it’s too late now.

She’s in her driveway.

 

 

-

 

Liam seems to have gotten over it, and yeah, Faith is still mental. She’s been moaning and groaning about how annoying Zayn is when he’s sad, and how Liam should just get back with the “super hot boy” before it’s too late. And Esme withstands most of it, giving no response, but she can see how dim the lights in Zayn’s eyes are.

And then Liam shows up with a girl named Ariana on his arm, and the fading glow in Zayn’s dark eyes immediately flickers into black, and he disappears. For minutes that turn into hours that morph into days, and when he returns, he sits in the back of the class.

He’s flunking. He slumps in his seat and his eyes are dead, void of life, and even the teachers are seeming to pity him. Esme knows that she’s not the only one watching Zayn; Taylor’s eyes are on her butterflies, but they also follow Zayn’s retreating form. One day, Esme catches them talking in whispers, or Taylor murmuring to Zayn, anyway. Her head is on his shoulder.

“You need an angel,” she says. “I’ll ask Diana to send one. She says she can hear you crying.”

Zayn just drops his head down on top of Taylor’s; whispers, “I had one.”

 

 

-

 

Harry picks up Taylor from science class and walks her to English, and she kisses him goodbye. Things are starting to make sense as Harry mumbles, “See ya later, sis,” and Faith is still out of her mind. Esme hands Taylor a pencil this time, instead of having her “accidentally” stealing it.

Louis has begun to wait for Harry, wait for the curly-haired lad to twirl him in the hallway. The blush on his cheeks has grown redder, brighter, as Zayn’s eyes darken to some color even deeper than midnight’s black itself.

Ariana is Liam’s sister, Esme later finds out. Tipped off by Niall, as it is, and he’s taken to wrapping his arms around her from behind at random moments. So maybe, Esme reasons, maybe Faith is still a little right-minded.

She tells Zayn this time, and his eyes are still dark, but she can see the spark of hope she’s ignited, and she hopes it stays there. She hopes it grows brighter, and she kisses his cheek and whispers that the pain never lasts for long.

He doesn’t believe her. That’s okay for now, she decides.

 

 

-

 

Zayn Malik’s heart is broken. Of course, Esme already knew, but only now is the news reaching Liam’s ears. The younger boy has been strictly avoiding his ex-lover, ever since That Day, and Esme can immediately tell why once she sees.

His face is pale, ashen and his eyes are that sweet brown that lets you know he feels guilty, sad. Sad is a word that Esme feels like she’s using a lot. She doesn’t want to.

“Do you still love him?” She asks Liam, and he shakes his head. For a good boy, Liam is a bit too good at lying.

“Right,” she says, nodding. “Do you still love him?”

He shakes his head again, the stubborn bastard, and Esme makes note of the fact that Liam’s eyes flick up to meet Zayn’s as the older passes by, a strained smile forced upon his face.

“No,” Liam whispers, and Esme nods.

She sighs. “Okay.”

Faith’s mental health isn’t getting any better.

 

 

-

 

Maybe it’s none of Esme’s business. She’s been told she meddles too much, but not by Niall. He tells her the truth, or what she wants to believe is, while he looks into her green eyes with his own icy blue ones. His skin burns her with the cold tips of his fingers, and there’s a leaked photo on Instagram of Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson kissing in the hallway, mid-twirl.

Esme can believe that, wholeheartedly.

The fiery hope Esme’s lit in Zayn’s eyes hasn’t gone away, albeit it’s dimmed a bit. Quite a bit, if she’s being honest. Which she tries to be.

Liam approached Zayn at lunch the other day. He sat down next to him and softly asked him to eat something; Esme was sitting close enough to hear. Again, meddling, but Zayn was slowly becoming anorexic, so someone had to watch him.

Even if she was helpless when it came to actually doing something.

And so Zayn opened his mouth and let Liam gently feed him, like a baby, and at the end Liam squeezed Zayn’s hand and simply kissed his hair; “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he’d whispered, and Zayn had actually smiled.

It was nice to see, that expression dancing on Zayn’s face.

 

 

-

 

In hindsight, it probably wasn’t the best idea to leave Taylor alone in the courtyard. When Esme comes back, three minutes later, the girl has butterflies in her hair and birds on her fingers, and she’s talking to a grinning ginger-haired lad, who looks rather happy yet amused at Taylor in all of her Cinderella-glory.

It seems even Taylor, daydreamer lyricminder cyancrazy Taylor, can have someone who loves her. Apparently his name is Ed, and he’s Taylor’s boyfriend, a freshman in college. Maybe Esme should advise against dating an older guy, but when she talks to Harry, he explains that their combined maturity is about eight years old. And that they’re soulmates, so he’s allowing it.

Esme grins, and Faith tells her that Zayn brought Liam a rose today. A single rose, just laying it down on the table in front of him, and Liam had blushed and murmured a thank you. No kisses, no hugs, but there was hand-squeezing over lemons and flower-giving over trampling, so things were alright.

Zayn’s eyes were almost stars instead of clouds.

 

 

-

 

“Liam told Zayn he was beautiful today,” Faith whispers conspiratorially, and Esme laughs quietly. Niall is watching her, from the back of the class where he sits with a softly smiling Zayn, and it’s okay. “And Zayn didn’t kiss him.”

Esme nods, but doesn’t look up at her best friend, because she has work to do and Faith is just being flaky with her information. Then again, Zayn is happy, so maybe.

There’s a picture Esme finds of Liam holding Zayn’s hand as they walk down the hall, a slightly out-of-focus one from ages ago, but it’s cute. They’ve both got suns in their eyes instead of just moons, and it’s nice.

“I think they’re still in love,” Faith says seriously, leaning towards Esme so much she might just tumble off her chair and onto the floor. “I think they really are.”

Esme hums; she feels like Taylor from all those months ago, just maybe less light-headed. “Maybe,” she says softly. “Probably. Definitely.”

Faith nods.

 

 

-

 

The news of Zayn and Liam’s subtle brush of lips in the cafeteria is all anyone’s talking about, and Esm knows it’s true before she even gets it confirmed. She can see Zayn, sitting in the middle of class by the window, and he’s staring out of it with a dreamy look on his face. His cheeks are pink.

“Hey, pretty boy,” Esme hisses, trying to get his attention. “Hey, Zayn.”

He looks up, and smiles at her, and the light has spread so much that there’s an entire sky in Zayn’s eyes. “Hmm?”

She just places her hand over his and squeezes lightly, with a smile. “I’m really glad you’re happy.”

He nods, eyes twinkling. “Yeah. Me too.”

And Liam waits for Zayn outside the classroom, and they kiss and walk down the hall with their arms around each other’s waists.

It’s good. Things are good.

 

 

-

 

Niall hurries to catch up to her in the hallway, and reaches down to weave their fingers together. He’s breathless, both in air and in beauty, and Esme thinks, for once and only once, that Faith just may be sane. Fully un-crazy, fully non-mental.

“Wanna go out sometime?” Niall rasps nervously, and she laughs softly with a smile.

“Yeah,” she says. “Yeah, I think that’d be nice.”


End file.
